January 18th
I’ve been busy in the past week drawing a comic strip for an upcoming anthology, but an item on the news has reminded me of one of my more recent concerns about becoming a father – the awareness that I’m considerably older than my father was when he had children. I realise 38 won’t seem old to all those guys becoming fathers in their 40s and 50s – and certainly not to the 67 year old Rumanian who reportedly gave birth the other day – but I certainly feel a little old in the joints sometimes (probably because of insufficient exercise), and I have no doubt I’ll be unable to keep up with an active child as well as my father did in his 20s, when he had me. (In fact, I think that’s one of the reasons I’d prefer a girl – you don’t have to physically compete with them in the same way as boys).
On the other hand, I’m not sure I would’ve been willing to have a child in my 20s, or even my early 30s, because there were so many things I wanted to do while I was young, and I might’ve resented the obligations of family preventing me from doing them. But now I’ve done the travelling and the adventure sports, tackled that novel, tried a bit of acting, so logically I should be at the right stage of my life to take on the responsibilities of fatherhood.
A’s a little younger than me, at 35, but is still older than women should ideally be for their first baby – the risk of Down's syndrome is obviously increased, for one thing – so she’s making absolutely certain she eats all the right things, avoids alcohol and ‘bad’ foods (such as soft cheeses and cold meats) and potentially harmful medications (anything stronger than a Panadol), takes her folate tablets, and gets the necessary pre-natal tests.
However, both of us know from the experiences of our friends B and M that the most carefully managed pregnancies can still end tragically. They did all the right things during the nine months B was carrying, but during the delivery the baby was temporarily deprived of oxygen and ended up brain-damaged. Tests showed that, with early physical therapy, he may end up with only minor learning difficulties, but M is undergoing counselling to deal with what’s happened, and their experience made all of us understand that you can’t take anything for granted.
On the other hand, I’m not sure I would’ve been willing to have a child in my 20s, or even my early 30s, because there were so many things I wanted to do while I was young, and I might’ve resented the obligations of family preventing me from doing them. But now I’ve done the travelling and the adventure sports, tackled that novel, tried a bit of acting, so logically I should be at the right stage of my life to take on the responsibilities of fatherhood.
A’s a little younger than me, at 35, but is still older than women should ideally be for their first baby – the risk of Down's syndrome is obviously increased, for one thing – so she’s making absolutely certain she eats all the right things, avoids alcohol and ‘bad’ foods (such as soft cheeses and cold meats) and potentially harmful medications (anything stronger than a Panadol), takes her folate tablets, and gets the necessary pre-natal tests.
However, both of us know from the experiences of our friends B and M that the most carefully managed pregnancies can still end tragically. They did all the right things during the nine months B was carrying, but during the delivery the baby was temporarily deprived of oxygen and ended up brain-damaged. Tests showed that, with early physical therapy, he may end up with only minor learning difficulties, but M is undergoing counselling to deal with what’s happened, and their experience made all of us understand that you can’t take anything for granted.
posted by Robert at 10:48 PM
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